Session Note 1: The Great Biscuit Mystery

     It began with such a small thing. A grunt of surprise by Old Mother Griggs every morning. Then came the angry looks when folk started asking if there were any more biscuits, as if it was somehow the questioners fault for asking!

    Four weeks at sea, but only two weeks of the oddness before it became clear. More than 90 souls on board The Windscreamer (and a few of them hidden as stowaways) and none was spared the ire of the ship's cook.

    It all came out at last. Someone was stealing biscuts. And not just any biscuits, not simply hard-tack or the poor lumps attempted by Timmy, the ship's apprentice cook - Old Mother Griggs Biscuts! The flaky, soft, tasty treats that everyone on board The Windscreamer craved. There had always been mroe than enough, but now there was a shortage. And with that scarcity came conflict - almost to blows once or twice. Morale plumetted like a sounding stone. 

    This wasn't enough for the Captain to do anything, of course. Venchenzo, his first mate, and he always got their share fresh from the oven, after all. Not until he himself overhead Old Mother Griggs saying that maybe she shouldn't make the bisucits at all if there was going to be so much childishness and nonsense. Before the chime signifying the next hour, he had bellowed, loud as a raging battle.

    "Now hear this!" Captain Tranio's resplendant deep bass echoed into every crevice of the ship. "I will have this mystery of the biscuits solved! I hearby offer 200 gold for the one, or ones, who can solve this unsettling crime. And more than that, if ye be guilty of a misdeed on board me ship, I'll forgive it. If ye be guilty of stealing the biscuits, I'll have you dunked overboard, so don't be thinking ye can claim the guilt just to cart off me gold! That is all!"

    The members of the crew all glanced at one another and returned to their work, muttering that none of them would be a rat. The team of explorers and scientists scoffed at such silliness and returned to their work at once. Only a few of those on board The Windscreamer heeded the call to action. Even some of the stowaways - perhaps they could walk the decks of the ship and eat in the galley if their crime of sneaking aboard was forgivven?

    Rushan, 'enjoying' the bilgewater that sloshed about in the bottom of the ship with the ballast was uncertain. His only dealings with the 'air-breathers' had not gone well, but this was interesting. He did not mind being a stowaway and none of the crew had an inkling he was here, but he had enjoyed some of those biscuits himself, before they became scarce...

    Ozzy hung in the spare sails, his head almost directly above Captain Tranio when he bellowed his offer. His large, pointed ears quivered with excitement. Insects and fish were all very well, but this could be a way into the kitchen for hot meals, good conversation, not to mention the gold! If the Vinci could be trusted, which he was uncertain of...

    The pixie hovered invisiblly above the head of Venchenzo who stood like a grumpy statue next to the shouting Captain. Verdi wasn't sure exactly what prank suited the oafish big first mate, but he had some ideas. These happy thoughts flew from his mind like a dragonfly with the offer of Captain Tranio. A mystery? He loved mysteries!

    Zafirah had some skill with cooking, so she glided over to attempt to sweet talk her way into Old Mother Grigg's kingdom. Perhaps from the kitchen, she would be able to discover clues? Her mentor had said to join the first ship she saw, by whatever means neccesary and this task would not be so terrible. "Timmy is bad enough in my kitchen!" the cook yelped, then grew thoughtful, "But... I do want the biscuit thief found..."

    Garrison put his hurdy-gurdy away with a hungry growl. His deep hunger for the dead had not be slacked for many days now and his jowls drooped in the very image of sickness. It had been five days since he found those zombies on the deserted island where he had helped find wild game. It was rough. Ruff! He enjoyed playing music for the crew at mealtimes, but nothing helped with The Hunger. Perhaps the hunt for the thief would distract him?

    Zarek sheathed the sword he had been needlessly sharpening after hearing the offer. This voyage had not offereed him much in the way of exploration or use of his skills, yet. Perhaps this was an omen that his luck was about to change? Desert winds, let it be so! His twin sister clapped her hands. "Let us explore this mystery!" she exclaimed. Alba clearly also wanted to do more than sing for her supper as she had been doing for the past month.

    Urak grunted as the Captain and his first mate left the deck. He stared at the broad back of Venchenzo in contemplation. Who would win in a contest of strength between them? So long as it was a fair fight, done for sport, the Ogre was thinking of offering the contest as enterainment for the crew. But this new mystery sounded more to his liking. Yes. He was big and strong. His honor demanded that he find this perpetrator of wickedness and see justice done.

    Noxen lifted his ear from the thin door that led to the hallway. His little 'cabin' was more of a closet nestled between two real rooms. He wished he had gotten one a bit larger. If he solved this 'crime' and was seen as more than just a sailor, might he be able to get a real bed and cabin?

    The Starlight Druid looked up from the charts at the conclusion of the Captain's announcement. The charts were mostly correct in their depicton of the constellations anyway. There should be no doubt as to where they were at. The biscuits location was the real mystery and one that he and Cassiopia wanted solved! His goose loved those biscuits!

    Min smoothed his ruffled feathers. Captain Tranio was far too loud. His kenku ears winced. The huge steam engines that powered The Windscreamer were loud, but he had learned how to expect the worst of it and shield his tender ears. The Vinci fellow was prone to bellow at the strangest of times, too. Perhaps finding out who was stealing biscuits would enable him to get a different job on board? Something more... explosive? Yes! He nodded quickly, his beak seeming to blur in his excitement. 

Day 1

    Each of the investigators went about searching for clues their own way, but they quickly came to be seen as a single unit by the weary crew and scholars aboard The Windscreamer. Grumbles and mutters of: "I already told you folk that." and "All the entertainers know this, don't you talk amoung yourselves?" and "I've already said twice." were far too frequent. Despite themselves, those hunting for clues began to share some of what they knew. 

    Some of them.

    The stowaways, Verdi and Ozzy, snuck about and just looked and listened on their own. They had practice in not being seen and knew their way around the ship. The stowaway Rashan did not go looking for trouble. He decided that it was all land-walker trouble and kept to his damp hidey-hole in the ballast. Even so, he still noticed some odd smells (fresh seaweed?) and heard things others said to rouse his curisoity. Besides, trouble found him anyway.

    Uruk went looking for stowaways. Stowaways need to eat. Biscuits are food. It was simple. That must be the answer. But he found nothing and no one. How odd. Rashan could hardly believe the big Ogre walked right next to him and saw nothing.

    Zafirah convinced Old Mother Griggs to let her add some herbs to the biscuits. The laxative herbs would cause serious, long-lasting, and near-instant 'tummy troubles'. All she would have to do to find the thief would be to follow the trail of groaning and someone whose bum was hanging over the side of the ship and the thief, partially-punished, would be found! A simple plan, even if it had earned her an enemy of Timmy because she had been allowed to cook and he had not. During the baking, a member of the expedition named Dr. Whisperwind came in to berate Old Mother Griggs aggressivly and called her a "thief of gnome culture," whatever that meant. Zafirah threw a lump of dough at the back of her head as she left. 

    After some discussions over dinner between the investagators, other clues and rumors are shared:

• It was noticed that Grit, a member of the expedition, sneakily put a biscuit into his inner coat pocket at dinner - very suspicous.
• It is said that the scientists and scholars are not being honest with what they are looking for and that they will kill the crew to keep their secrets.
• A half-orc member of the crew, Sally, snuck into the kitchen and left with a small kerchief that smelled of biscuits. Many of the female sailors giggle that Sally has a secret crush amoung the scientists and scholars - much speculation as to who it might be.
• Many people ay they have heard Dr. Whisperwind crying in her room. Nobody knows what she's sad about.
• A tuft of dark green fur is caught between the barrel staves that holds the leftover biscuits - clearly matching the coat of the ships rat catcher - a talking cat named Whiskers. Bad kitty? Some crew say that the cat loves the biscuits and likes to make 'rat sandwiches' using them. 
• Strange symbols marked in chalk on the side of the biscuit barrel as found. Not magical, but referencing magic, perhaps?
• Quartermaster Silas is seen packing a bunch of biscuits into some large, iron-bound chests that also seem to be filled with tools and weapons. The crew thinks Silas is too paranoid and worried about the number of people on board the ship.

    Verdi stayed in the kitchen, invisible. Surely, all he had to do was watch. He saw many of the others doing their investagation and was hard-pressed not to laugh when Dr. Whisperwind got a lump of dough to the back of her head. Good sport, that! The most interesting thing though, was Timmy. The fellow snuck into the kitchen after all else were asleep and made his own large batch of biscuits. Then, he took the whole sack of biscuits he had made, along with one of Old Mother Griggs samples (that now had some 'interesting' herbs in them) and left. There was some kind of man-bat and 2 other shadowy fellows who saw this event, as well, but failed to see one another. Things were shaping up to be very entertaining!

Day 2

    Consternation reigns the next day. Not only are all of the 'tainted' biscuits gone, but all of the real biscuits as well - and no one saw anyone take them! Zafirah and Old Mother Griggs are disguntled that no one is suffering from 'tummy toubles' either. Nor are any 'signs' of such troubles found.

    Some excitement was had when Ozzy was discovered sneaking around the second deck. Surrounded by armed crew, he surrendered. It soon became clear that the man-bat was not the thief, but was hoping to solve the crime and become a regular passenger. Uruk seemed the most embarrased about the discovery of a stowaway, but he did not expound on why, for some reason...

    While Ozzy was explaining what he had seen to the other investigators, a strange voice speaks in her ear, "Those chalk symbols speak of gnomish magic." There was nobody there when he looked, but there were indeed strange chalk markings. Creepy. When Ozzy mentioned this to the others, Zafirah immediately thought of the gnome scholar, Dr. Whisperwind and went matching to her cabin.

    When confronted about the chalk markings, Dr. Whisperwind burst into tears, grabbing Zafirah's legs. "The biscuits are too good! Just like my great-grandma's! It was a secret recipe that she took to her grave! How could a Vinci know it? How? Oh, I never got tell my great-grandma how much she  meant to me before she died! All we ever did was fight! Boo-hoo-hoo!" Zafirah held her and spoke softly to her. After Dr. Whisperwind cried herself out, she agrees to place an Alarm spell on the bisuct barrel the next night.

    Zarek, Abla, and Uruk went to talk to Timmy and find out what his late-night baking was all about. Timmy's cabin and bunk are covered in biscuit crumbs. Uruk stood there glowering at the trembling cooks apprentice while Zarek and Abla questioned him. Timmy breaks like a glass rod. "I just want to cook! That's all!" the terrified fellow pants. He has been trying to duplicate Old Mother Griggs recipe, but he can't make it work. "The smell is wrong! The taste - even a lick - puts paid to her lies about how she make them!" He says that he tosses all the failures overboard in disgust every night. Timmy begs them not to tell Old Mother Griggs, "or that new assistant cook who's after my position!"

    Noxen talked to Whiskers, using magic and card tricks to catch her interest and put the feline at ease. When asked about her fur on the biscut barrel, the cat sniffs and says, "Of course, you did. I always get extra biscuits and it's never been a problem. I do as I please. Meow. Look at this gracful, sevelte form. Does it look like I've been eating too many biscuits? Scores of them? Meow." The cat tells Noxen that all of the biscuits were stolen between 4am and 5am. With a final flick of a tail, the cat disappears in a flash of movement.

    Ozzy and Garrison went down to talk to the Quartermaster. Silas was very upset that Ozzy was a stowaway and accused him of eating food that was set aside for the real crew and passengers. Once Ozzy explained that he has been eating fish and bugs, Silas was somewhat molified. He explained that too much flour has been being used ("almost enough for an extra batch of biscuits every day!"). Garrison asks about patterns that Silas has noticed. He talks about how worried about they might run out of supplies and he has been building some extra stores. Not enough to explain the disapearence - which is about 150 missing a day. 

    Zafirah confronted Sally, the half-orc sailor, about stealing some biscuits the prior evening. She admits to taking "a few extra biscuits, but not that many. And they are just, you know, love notes." Love notes? Suddenly, the tone shifted from an interogation to gossipy girl-talk. Do tell! Uh-huh? Who is it? Is he cute? It comes out that one of the members of the scholar group is interesting, I mean, interested, in the biscuits. So she has been leaving them in heart shapes on his bunk. Whose bunk? Grit's bunk. Zafirah talks Sally into making a move and letting Grit know she likes him. If it works out - great. If not? One less person on board. "Yeah, I can do that," muses the sailor.

    Min goes to talk to Grit. Min thinks strongly about blowing the half-orc up. It's been a long time since he's blown anything up. Grit's eyes widen when threatened and clutches his notebook to his chest. "Bomb? Not in Grit's cabin! No, not me notes!" He confesses to having taken some extra biscuits, but only to study. "Them must be magic. Sometimes biscuit appear on me bunk in shape of heart. It not normal. Other scholar will make fun of Grit, because it not serious matter, but it matter to Grit."

    Rushan can hear all the commotion and some of the discussions and accusations. All this trouble over biscuits? Dry-landers were very odd. He found himself wondering who could be causing so much trouble. Maybe he'd sneak around during the night to see what he might find?

Day 3

    Plans are laid and an ambush set by all of the investigators. The pixie remains hidden in the kitchen, rubbing his hands with gleeful anticipation. Rushan sneak around while keeping his bulk to the shadows, but is concerned he will be seen.

    Those watching the biscuit barrel see the lid move all by itself in the wee-hours! The alarm goes off! Garrison tries to fasinate whoever it is. A strong scent of seaweed fills the kitchen. Uruk grabs at the air and feels... something. Tiny, wet legs?

    A nixie! She screams like a caught piglet, being shaken upside-down, by Uruk. In both her little hands is clutched what must be a bag of holding made of seaweed, as scores and scores of biscuts fall out of the bags opening.

    "Augh! My friends the dolphins love those biscuits and now they are on the floor! Oh, woe is me! Yesterday's biscuits were bad - they made my friends do nothing but poop!"

   The noise and commotion soon brought Captain Tranio to the kitchen. "What's this?" Venchenzo pushed his way into the room, holding onto a large four-armed Saugin - Rushan! "Look what I found in the halls, Captain. Another stowaway!"

    The Captain looked up and down at the huge fishman. "And I suppose you were trying to solve this mystery as well, eh?" Rushan shuffled his feet wetly. "I was curious."

    Captain Tranio rolled his eyes and turned back to the struggling nixie, her stolen goods piled beneath her. "What to do about this... this fey? This thief of biscuts?"

    "Throw her overboard and she will surely curse us," muttered Ozzy.

    "We could put her in a box or a glass jar," postulated Uruk, "I think I heard a story about that once."

    Noxen shook his head, "Nope. No way to treat fey. You need to make a deal with her."

    "A deal? With filthy fairies? For what?" exclaimed the Captain.

    "Biscuits," said Alba.

    "A reasonable amount," said Zarek, toeing the pile of biscuts.

    "For what service should I pay her?" puffed the Captain. "I have no need for a professional biscuit theif on my ship!"

    Garrison nodded his solem, jowly face, "Yes, what can you do, nixie?"

    "Well... you know... me and the dolphins don't like bad creatures. We could watch and let you know if any come near the ship?" The nixie continued to hold the seaweed bag with one hand and was trying to keep her hair out of her face and twist to see each speaker.

    "How do we know you will keep your word?" asked Zafirah.

    "Biscuits?" the nixie said timidly. "I love them, too. Even though yesterdays biscuts gave me some... problems."

    "I would say I'm sorry," Zafirah said, "But I'm really not."

    "I also want to hear stories from your people," Garrison said.

    "Oh! Sure! I like stories! And there have been many bad critters that have come near the boat and we chased them off for free. Lots of undead sharks around, you know?" Garrison's ears perked up and he began to drool slightly.

    "How did you even come to bother us?" asked the Captain.

    "Someone threw a bunch of biscuits overboard in the night and we liked them. They weren't as good as the ones in the kitchen, but not bad," the nixie said, still trying to keep her hair out of her face.

    Captain Tranio nodded once and shook the  nixies hand. "It is a deal." 

    "Hooray! The Biscuit Protection Soceity is what we will call ourselves!" the nixie said happily. "So, how about letting me go now?"